Train your brain to work with you
I thought I would share with you something which I learnt over the weekend about myself.
I have been struggling in training to be patient with getting back to fitness on the trampoline and it seems as though all the different emotions and stress of the last 5 months- getting injured, missing Europeans, minor setbacks in rehab, missing the Canada Cup to name a few- have just exploded in the last week. I think I was containing it inside and letting it all build up and up and last week I just let go. I noticed a change in myself; I was snappy, tearful, irrational and the self belief which I had been working on for so long seemed to just disappear. I struggled to communicate my feelings with my coach and instead fired all th traits I have just mentioned at her.
Myself and my coach had a chat with Pete, the team psychologist on Saturday to try and get to grips with why I was feeling how I was feeling and what we can do to help me get myself 'back to nromal'. What he had to say was a massive help and it all made sense to me. I wanted to share it with you, and I hope you will understand it!
We are all made up of different parts. Each part is separate to you; they each have their own personality and although they seem to be destructive and disruptive, there is a positive intent behind their behaviour. They each have a role to play and to be most effective need to work together as your 'inner team'. The parts make their decisions based on perceptions, not on 'reality'. I wont go into all the parts but I will explain what happened to me- why I was behaving in the way I was. The home of negative emotion can be called the 'chimp'. We each have a critical part- this is the 'critical judge' and this was winding up my 'chimp' by predicting threatening/ negative future situations. This means my positive emotion 'part' was very quiet and allowing the chimp to shout very loudly. As I said, all of the parts need to work together as a team and avoid one part dominating. Using this model, I was being snappy, irrational and tearful because I was trying to protect myself from something bad happening. It could be that I have experienced lots of disappointments lately and I was protecting myself from the prospect of the same happening by being sort of closed to external inputs- i.e my coach trying to help by suggesting different ideas. I am not normally snappy and tearful so when I started behaving like that I then started thinking about what a horrible person I was for being like that and saying things to myself like- why are you crying? You are so stupid! I realise now that that behaviour is not me, it is a result of my 'parts' not working together properly and allowing one part to dominate based just on perception without reality. Does that make sense?
I dont know if that is too confusing for you, please email or message me if you want to find out more. It really is something which will help and once you have learnt enough about it you can start training each part to your advantage. x